Daddy's Birthday

Patience. Softness. Calm energy. These are the things that make Midwifery magical. That does not mean they always come easy or naturally. We all have rough days when everything is wonky, people are annoying, the world seems against us and Midwives are no exception. Some mornings I pull the blankets over my head and decide to stay in bed. Usually a little face is staring up at me wondering why we are playing hide and seek before breakfast.

The neat thing about these days is that usually something really cool comes of it. I'm learning to slow down. Take life on the gentle side. Take care of me. Take things as they come. Sometimes I get these lessons exampled to me from someone in my life. One of my kids, my spouse, a student who really has it together...or a client...a mystical, magical, birthing rockstar....

The other day I was at a prenatal for a mama that was slightly overdue. Her last baby had been early by a couple weeks. She was already demonstrating her seemingly mastered skill of patience. Her body had made many signs of labor for weeks. She mentioned in a text that she was ready for some nudgy magic herbs if we were ready. We are always ready. 

The morning we arrived for a prenatal, her baby was in the perfect position, she was well rested and contractions had already started (albeit spaced apart and very mild) a couple hours before. An exam found her already 4 cm dilated, soft and ready to get down to this business of birthing her baby. We gave a little nudge during the exam and left her with some herbs to take every hour or so. I put my current audio Harry Potter book on bluetooth and drove off to see some other mama's after I let my family know I'd be at a birth that night. 

I still get a little knot in my stomach. A small rush of excitement. Simply the anticipation of a birth still gives me the flutters. This miracle of life-never loses it's magic.

We were back within hours. She was calm and talking, but consistently contracting every few minutes. We kept up with the herbs and another exam showed a little progress, but lots of work to go. This is why I crochet and knit. My hands can be busy. Surprise surprise what's on her television but the same Harry Potter book I'm currently listening to during my drive times between clients. I settle in anticipating being there a few extra hours.

That night we found ourselves eating pizza by candle light, having finished HP we were watching the food network...that wicked channel had made us hungry. The birth pool was set up and ready for water. The slight smell of birthy tea was drifting into the room from the kitchen. Homemade candles from wine bottles were crackling so beautifully, the light dancing on the nearby walls and closed curtains. The energy was light and fun and serene. There was no rush in the world, just a sweet baby, tucked inside, slowly opening itself to the outside world on it's own terms. No hospital clock was ticking. No rush to get this done and turn the room over for the next laboring mother. Just whispered conversations, gentle laughter, and a very cozy living room! 

As the night turned into middle of the night and early morning came into her husbands birthday, she made slow but consistent progress forward, baby sounded well and we journeyed on. We finally decided that breaking water was a great option. Mama was getting tired, but hanging in there, baby was excellent and moving lower and lower, but she'd been sitting at 8cm a few hours and was really wanting to get to pushing.

She never complained to that point. Contraction after contraction was met with a smile, some movement, energy that said loud and clear "bring me my baby"...she was a rockstar.

Now things took off. Baby came down right where it needed to be and she finally required focus. The energy of the room shifted with her work. Voices quieted. TV went off, lights were dimmed, my current blanket project went away and my hands got busy offering relief-massage, counter pressure etc. The temp outside had dropped to freezing and the crackling wicks from the candles seems to emit warmth as well as dim lighting. She worked through the rest of the night, changing positions frequently and we continued the dance of labor. Hanging on hubby, leaning over the ball, laying under blankets on the living room floor....I'd push on her back and whisper words of encouragement and reminders to stay soft and on she danced, soft birthy moans escaping her lips as baby worked ever closer on the longest/shortest 2 inch journey.

Soon the tub was full of warmth and in she climbed to her own liquid sanctuary. Floating, twisting, changing positions she worked and worked with her baby. The sun was rising pink and purple over the bare trees seen through the cracks in the blinds. The street outside was quiet and filled with a crisp thick fog, ice crystals seemed to hang in the air. Our vehicles, the grass, the pots of plants outside were covered in a thick layer of frost. Everything seemed to be standing still waiting for this little person to emerge.

Soon she voiced a desire for help. She wanted to push, but it didn't feel right. I knew what was happening and hoped it would resolve itself with a little time, but that last little bit of cervix did not want to budge. I held it out of the way for one contraction and her baby slid right by. Soft squishy fuzzy head, little shoulders and body slipped out under the water with a sigh of relief. Baby girl opened her arms and legs and gave a little kick, like she was grateful her womb had expanded and she had so much space now. It made me smile as I helped her up out of the water facing her mama.

And then...my absolute favorite moment...she reached forward and grabbed her baby and pulled her to her chest. "My baby" "I love you so much" and tears fell from all our faces.

Daddy and baby now share a birthday. Best present ever!

Welcome sweet girl. May you always feel the power behind your mothers love for you. (because she is a powerhouse!) May crisp, foggy streets and crackling candles give you a mysterious sense of peace and love. May your birthday remind you of the man who stayed the course and was faithfully, strongly by your (and mama's) side as you came into this world, sharing his birthday. May your journey through this life be full of joy! Welcome!